Try harder. Do more! Get that promotion! Achieve that dream! Be amazing all the time. Meh. For what? Why? Is there a point to any of this? Can it make you happy? Will it make you successful living someone else’s cookie cutter life?
Let me tell you a ‘not so secret’, secret. I became a coach in 2005 because all I wanted was to fix myself. I felt broken. I was 25, and had no enthusiasm for life anymore. My life felt meaningless and I couldn’t see what the whole point of slogging was. Knowing that I had to live another 50-60 more years in that aimless flux was so unbearable that it gave me the kick in the pants I needed.
After I took self development seriously – the picture became clearer, and it’s frankly taken years for me to figure out what I wanted to be known as and understand my purpose. First I had to shed everything that made me unhappy. Under all that, I wasn’t broken, just hidden by all the masks I wore to please people around me so that I could feel accepted and approved of. I ditched that too. 🙂
You see, we often live our lives as bolts. Consider the bolt that tries to hold things together, but without a locknut on the end of it, is frankly useless. With tensions, stress and movement, change, the bolt comes loose and everything falls apart. It’s what society expects from us, that we hold things together without all the pieces that are required. Yet without all of the tools to hold all the elements of our lives together, we are living only half of life on a precarious edge of dissolution.
Who are you really? Have you dared to look closely at those things that are falling apart in your life? Have you dared to shed that which makes you unhappy? Have you dared to learn how to use who you are effectively so that you can authentically connect to a purpose that makes you thrill with vibrancy?
Who are you really? What is your truth? If you are living life on your own terms, what are those terms? Living courageously means that you really have to be able to look hard at who you are and do the necessary to calibrate to your most authentic life. Maybe it’s time to ask those questions.