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How to find the right coach for you.

Let’s start with the sad truth. Everyone and their uncle is a self styled coach nowadays. The bar for entry is abysmally low, with the bar for actual success so high that for most, this makes coaching with a master coach financially impossible.  With a recent article in the Huffington Post making the rounds on social media, a debate on whether coaching is required for success is also finding its way into coffee conversations. There are two parts to this. One , whether coaching is necessary at all in this information age. Two, if it is, how to find the right coach for you. How do you tell the good ones from the dodgy chancers?

Is a coach really required? Can’t I just you tube this stuff or pick my friends brains?

Well yes and no. A few salient points here:

  • You can youtube information and or watch free webinars. Most ‘Free’ information, including my own promotional material, leaves out the real meat of transformational information. This is primarily to protect the intellectual property of the coach. We want you to smell the fresh baked bread and want some, not eat the loaf gratis. So browsing the net for info is great, and should at the very least set you up to start your self development journey.
  • Using free ebooks, audios and other giveaways, will also allow you to test your readiness to begin coaching, just keep in mind that one aha moment is not usually enough to sustain you.
  • Coaches had to prepare all of this info, so yes, they are still required. The field of neuroscience is discovering new information about how to better use our minds every day. Good coaches stay abreast of the latest technology then feed you just enough info to convince you to get coached.
  • Many of the coaches who have fantastic marketing, from lead magnet material to opt in pages and customer service departments have developed group programmes which are like the primary school of coaching offerings. They’re designed to give you taster information, notch you up a level and prime you for the upsell.
  • Don’t ask your coaching friends coaching questions and expect free help. No coach is a coach for the love of humanity alone. Like any other person, they have to financially sustain a living wage out of what they love doing, and hour for training hour, these fees can be steep. Rest assured, having paid handsomely for coaching myself, it is money well spent with the right coach. Also a point on mooching, it’s not in the habits of the successful.
  • How committed are you with those you tube videos anyway? Do you show up for every one? Free content only engages when the the viewer is really in a place of difficulty and psychological discomfort. Commitment is just better when you have to get your money’s worth.

How do you find the right coach for you?

  • To repeat a point above, shop around. Ask for referrals from others who you suspect have been coached. You know who they are from the results they have and you don’t. Not everyone will admit it though.
  • Research your coach. Check for publications, audios and video. If they offer a taster session, book one and show up.
  • During a taster session expect at least one or two aha moments. You should have a feeling of confidence that this person is able to help you to get results. A guarantee of some sort is also a favourable indicator.
  • Talk about your budget. Good coaches don’t come cheaply, nor do they coach pro bono, so don’t expect free coaching. Discuss how you could afford to get coached if you feel that this process will help you with your situation, challenge or next phase of growth. Many coaches are open to negotiation of terms for the right client.
  • Talk to your prospective coach about your expectations of coaching. Like any contract, you both have rights and responsibilities.
  • Avoid coaches who have little or no profile, unless referred by someone who is already achieving goals.
  • Avoid high profile coaches who farms you off to a junior who is also still being coached.
  • Don’t buy into the snake oil and hype of marketing and assume that this rahrah and instagram is coaching. Coaching is an intimate and transformative process with a coach who will push you hard to find all your blocks and go past them, in a way best suited to your own context.

So the answer is yes, you have all you need to succeed, and no you don’t necessarily have mental access to all that you need to evict to succeed. Coaches are necessary, but use your discretion. Look for those who walk the talk. Be prepared to pay well for good coaching as free or cheap coaching is rarely enough for lasting change and the wrong type can even set you back.

Success is well within the reach of everyone, but it is not for everyone. Those who want it badly enough, do what is required. Those who don’t… well, have a look at their results. There is room and context for us all.

I hope that this frank look at the coaching industry has helped.

 

The Ultimate User Experience

 

I style myself as a success coach. I am. Usually. For at least half of my waking hours though, I’m a mom, a daughter, a buddy, a helper, a driver, handyman, researcher, cook, carer…. the list is quite long. Chances are you have a similar list that is not on your cv either. Life eh? So what is your user experience of life like?

My clients hire me because they want to have that ultimate user experience.  A success story that can make the cover of Forbes. That luxe lifestyle that is portrayed in magazines and television shows is what they say they want. The reality is often that user experience can only be optimised if the mind is in the right state to understand what optimisation means in the individual context. This can be boiled down to the elements of quality, accessibility and freedom of choice regardless of what their eventual choice may turn out to be.

Creating a quality lifestyle, having access to the resources to do so and the freedom to enjoy it, should be at the top of all of our bucket lists. If we could be as fussy about our quality of life as we are about the quality of our internet speed or car interiors, success is well within reach.

The practice of successful living involves taking charge of the mind, so that you are fully present to current experience and it’s inherent opportunity. It is the actualisation of the idea of living in a well managed body so that you are living with access to a lifestyle that brings you joy through purposeful movement. Successful living means that you are strong enough in self knowledge that you practice freedom as a lifestyle, regardless of what your ideal of freedom is.

User experience models have been applied to websites, apps and restaurants and gadgets of all types. It’s high time we applied the same standards to our actual day to day living.  If you do a review of your UX- where are you rated on a scale of 1-10 (with 1 being unsatisfactory and 10 being perfect)?

Is this your real truth?

About Fiona

A Success Coach determined to 10x the UX of natural high performers, so that they can add more precious innovation and leadership to a planet that could use more happy people. Contact her via www.JustOnePercent.co.za to optimise your success lifestyle.

Who are You really?

 

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Try harder. Do more! Get that promotion! Achieve that dream! Be amazing all the time. Meh. For what? Why? Is there a point to any of this? Can it make you happy? Will it make you successful living someone else’s cookie cutter life?

Let me tell you a ‘not so secret’, secret.  I became a coach in 2005 because all I wanted was to fix myself. I felt broken. I was 25, and had no enthusiasm for life anymore. My life felt meaningless and I couldn’t see what the whole point of slogging was. Knowing that I had to live another 50-60 more years in that aimless flux was so unbearable that it gave me the kick in the pants I needed.

After I took self development seriously – the picture became clearer, and it’s frankly taken years for me to figure out what I wanted to be known as and understand my purpose. First I had to shed everything that made me unhappy. Under all that, I wasn’t broken, just hidden by all the masks I wore to please people around me so that I could feel accepted and approved of. I ditched that too. 🙂

You see, we often live our lives as bolts. Consider the bolt that tries to hold things together, but without a locknut on the end of it, is frankly useless. With tensions, stress and movement, change, the bolt comes loose and everything falls apart. It’s what society expects from us, that we hold things together without all the pieces that are required. Yet without all of the tools to hold all the elements of our lives together, we are living only half of life on a precarious edge of dissolution.

Who are you really? Have you dared to look closely at those things that are falling apart in your life? Have you dared to shed that which makes you unhappy? Have you dared to learn how to use who you are effectively so that you can authentically connect to a purpose that makes you thrill with vibrancy?

Who are you really? What is your truth? If you are living life on your own terms, what are those terms?  Living courageously means that you really have to be able to look hard at who you are and do the necessary to calibrate to your most authentic life.  Maybe it’s time to ask those questions. 

 

Welcome !!

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The next steps are to add info@justonepercent.co.za to your safe list on mail. If you are not on facebook- please create a profile so that we can add you to the secret group of top performers.

Congratulations on making this the first year of the best years of your life.

What if I am not Ok?

Disclaimer: A while back while doing a workshop on transactional analysis I came across the idea of  “I’m ok, you’re ok” I want to take that concept away from its context and just use them as regular words in a sentence. 

I am human, first. In an ideal world, my autonomy would be respected – period. It isn’t though. Humanity is a beautiful flawed species that has a complex behaviour frame of reference.  I layer on my humanity, a lens of female, add another for nationality, language, age group, race classification and education level. I add a few more lenses called life experience, inherited trauma and joy, relationships and religion.

Yes, first I am human. Regardless of the “isms” that I may experience because of the way the world experiences my demographic and behaves towards me. So popular culture tells me to get over it, because I am just human like everyone else – therefore we are all equal and need to just embrace and take opportunities to grow as they come. Popular culture discounts my lenses and makes light of my observation and my experience- ironically because we each see life through these manipulators of vision. These are as firmly attached to me as my retina and eardrums –

What are the signs of “not ok” ?

  • Anger, frustration, offence, hurt, betrayal, sadness, lack of motivation, hate, despair, fear, aggression, disassociation, isolation, hopelessness.

When we experience these emotions from others, we simplify right down to “I’m ok, you’re not ok” because I see us as just human, while you are still on about some situation that I feel I have grown past. This is akin to a person speaking slowly in english to a non-english speaker, hoping for a miraculous translation which makes the non-english speaker puzzle at the condescension displayed while still not understanding the intended words.

How do we get to I’m ok and You’re ok? Start with your beliefs and be brutally honest. Interrogate them from a non-judgmental and fair viewpoint – not your lenses, but perhaps through the stories told by others who are angry and sad and disillusioned- these others whom you do not understand. Acknowledge that most conflict starts from a place of fear that is deep seated in the subconscious created by generations of fear inducing action.

We can all get to the I’m ok, you’re ok stage. We just need to allow the “I’m not ok” to be unknown-913571_1280acknowledged respectfully so that the understanding of how to make it different can come about.

About Fiona

A coach who believes that by helping more people become visionary in their own leadership, the world will be a kinder and more prosperous place for us all. www.justonepercent.co.za

You can only do what you know until you know how to do better

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Drama. It happens when three characters are involved. A victim, a persecutor and a rescuer.  Step out of this game and drama stops. Only we don’t always know that we are doing this , because of other factors. It may be behaviour rooted in trauma, or in a in a place that is so deeply subconscious that we don’t recognise a clear pattern.

The truth is that we are locked in cycles of action that will always be based on only what we know how to do. Our external results when unsatisfactory to the point of pain, tell us that something isn’t right. Even then, it is only when we fully accept that the results are unacceptable. Why am I saying this?

There has to come a point in your life (of pain) where you say, “I am not getting the results I want. How can I make this different?” If your results have always been based on application of what you know consciously and subconsciously- then the change needed is this. Go and find out what it is that you need to know to get better results.  Sometimes this magic is not the new knowledge but how to apply the knowledge you have. There are many nuances here.

When you are willing to risk different results, by expanding your knowledge – you will see progress. Until then it is the hamster wheel of doing what you do, and being surprised that you have not moved forward.

About Fiona

Fiona helps high achievers change their results to align with their purpose and goals.  Make the transition from Power-filled to Powerful.www.justonepercent.co.za

The Other F Word

 

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Two words- One you are feeling right now, as you scroll through social media today. Wondering what the new year will bring, the economy, your career , your family… You may be bored, tired, frustrated… no it’s not that F word. It’s FEAR. While you were reading the headline, you may have thought of a few words, many of them unkind, many of them not tasting of what you want in 2016.

The other F word is FLOURISH.

I sat with a client this morning and we worked through a powerful transformative process in the power of the word and sensory vocabulary that make up your lens of perception.  In short- what you say and how you feel, make up the way that you will interpret your takeaway from anything that you experience.

While folks are putting up lovely inspirational sayings on their facebook, twitter instagram and even here on LinkedIn….. I wonder, how many of them actually feel what they are posting. Do they really believe it will be the best year ever? Do they believe that miraculously at midnight, people will be kinder, more focused, and less flaky? Will the parties be genuine celebrations or will they be expected rituals? I wonder.

To FLOURISH, means to have the access to thinking that supports your ambitions. It means the ability to navigate your emotions and be self aware enough to grow through each experience at a faster and faster rate- so that all you do in the new year is respond. Reaction is always fear based. When you are in a flourishing state- you responses are nothing short of visionary.

When we choose FEAR- there will be no Happy New Year– there is only the same result you have always had. Go back to the end of the queue, you have put yourself last again. You can only get what you want if you want it badly enough to go ahead despite the fear, and no amount of inspirational quotes will get you the life you should be having.

My wish for you all is to have a Flourishing New Year. A year alive with possibility not because you wish it so, but because you make it so with the right tools and guidance. A year that pushes you so far out of your comfort zone that you become a remarkable innovator.

About Fiona

Intent on working with future visionary leaders, who may feel like  little saplings now, but are reaching for the sun with such determination that they are the future mighty oaks.  For a conversation on your vision, mailfiona@justonepercent.co.za . We will unpack, draw and direct your plan of action to make your vision reality.