No, sorry- I don’t have a formula for you here. I’m being cheeky and inviting you to join in on an online webinar on this exact topic.
I’ve spent the week doing mini masterclasses with groups of entrepreneurs on how to set those resonating goals that create the impetus and momentum in your life to make materialising your goals much more achievable.
Disclaimer: A while back while doing a workshop on transactional analysis I came across the idea of “I’m ok, you’re ok” I want to take that concept away from its context and just use them as regular words in a sentence.
I am human, first. In an ideal world, my autonomy would be respected – period. It isn’t though. Humanity is a beautiful flawed species that has a complex behaviour frame of reference. I layer on my humanity, a lens of female, add another for nationality, language, age group, race classification and education level. I add a few more lenses called life experience, inherited trauma and joy, relationships and religion.
Yes, first I am human. Regardless of the “isms” that I may experience because of the way the world experiences my demographic and behaves towards me. So popular culture tells me to get over it, because I am just human like everyone else – therefore we are all equal and need to just embrace and take opportunities to grow as they come. Popular culture discounts my lenses and makes light of my observation and my experience- ironically because we each see life through these manipulators of vision. These are as firmly attached to me as my retina and eardrums –
When we experience these emotions from others, we simplify right down to “I’m ok, you’re not ok” because I see us as just human, while you are still on about some situation that I feel I have grown past. This is akin to a person speaking slowly in english to a non-english speaker, hoping for a miraculous translation which makes the non-english speaker puzzle at the condescension displayed while still not understanding the intended words.
How do we get to I’m ok and You’re ok? Start with your beliefs and be brutally honest. Interrogate them from a non-judgmental and fair viewpoint – not your lenses, but perhaps through the stories told by others who are angry and sad and disillusioned- these others whom you do not understand. Acknowledge that most conflict starts from a place of fear that is deep seated in the subconscious created by generations of fear inducing action.
We can all get to the I’m ok, you’re ok stage. We just need to allow the “I’m not ok” to be acknowledged respectfully so that the understanding of how to make it different can come about.
A coach who believes that by helping more people become visionary in their own leadership, the world will be a kinder and more prosperous place for us all. www.justonepercent.co.za
Drama. It happens when three characters are involved. A victim, a persecutor and a rescuer. Step out of this game and drama stops. Only we don’t always know that we are doing this , because of other factors. It may be behaviour rooted in trauma, or in a in a place that is so deeply subconscious that we don’t recognise a clear pattern.
The truth is that we are locked in cycles of action that will always be based on only what we know how to do. Our external results when unsatisfactory to the point of pain, tell us that something isn’t right. Even then, it is only when we fully accept that the results are unacceptable. Why am I saying this?
There has to come a point in your life (of pain) where you say, “I am not getting the results I want. How can I make this different?” If your results have always been based on application of what you know consciously and subconsciously- then the change needed is this. Go and find out what it is that you need to know to get better results. Sometimes this magic is not the new knowledge but how to apply the knowledge you have. There are many nuances here.
When you are willing to risk different results, by expanding your knowledge – you will see progress. Until then it is the hamster wheel of doing what you do, and being surprised that you have not moved forward.
Fiona helps high achievers change their results to align with their purpose and goals. Make the transition from Power-filled to Powerful.www.justonepercent.co.za
With Beyonce’s Independant Woman playing in the back of my mind- This post is not just aimed at the ladies.
Lone wolf , I’m looking at you. Independance is great, but thinking partners are better. They bring a fresh perspective on issues, ask questions you hadn’t thought of asking and sometimes, just the presence of others looking at you to finish the race with them, is enough.
With social pressure to perform and the judgement of strangers- Of course this can be a very difficult thing to be vulnerable with others. Masterminds change this dynamic. A group of like minded peers who get together for the express purpose of authentic connection and brainstorming makes for an environment that both supports the ambition of a high performer while supporting their vulnerability as well.
What makes a good MasterMind? They’re intimate, regular meets, curated with care and facilitated for an express purpose. The goal should always be kept at the forefront with powerful leadership holding the group on point.
Why can’t I do this alone? I read books, watch videos- why should I pay to be part of a mastermind? The answer is pretty simple, You enter a mastermind for an experience of yourself in interaction with your peers. In a “room” be it live or virtual, you are “surrounded”. There are no blind spots, and unpacking a topic happens from more perspectives than just yours. The energy of a group intent on a common purpose will always be more powerful than that of an individual, no matter how determined.
Evolutionary solutions to big challenges do not occur in isolation. Are you ready to be part of an evolutionary solution? Join a MasterMind.
Fiona is a coach currently working on her list of brilliant for 2016. Top of this list is to connect with high achievers. If you are a top achiever who needs to be challenged, say hi at Fiona@Justonepercent.co.za
Two words- One you are feeling right now, as you scroll through social media today. Wondering what the new year will bring, the economy, your career , your family… You may be bored, tired, frustrated… no it’s not that F word. It’s FEAR. While you were reading the headline, you may have thought of a few words, many of them unkind, many of them not tasting of what you want in 2016.
The other F word is FLOURISH.
I sat with a client this morning and we worked through a powerful transformative process in the power of the word and sensory vocabulary that make up your lens of perception. In short- what you say and how you feel, make up the way that you will interpret your takeaway from anything that you experience.
While folks are putting up lovely inspirational sayings on their facebook, twitter instagram and even here on LinkedIn….. I wonder, how many of them actually feel what they are posting. Do they really believe it will be the best year ever? Do they believe that miraculously at midnight, people will be kinder, more focused, and less flaky? Will the parties be genuine celebrations or will they be expected rituals? I wonder.
To FLOURISH, means to have the access to thinking that supports your ambitions. It means the ability to navigate your emotions and be self aware enough to grow through each experience at a faster and faster rate- so that all you do in the new year is respond. Reaction is always fear based. When you are in a flourishing state- you responses are nothing short of visionary.
When we choose FEAR- there will be no Happy New Year– there is only the same result you have always had. Go back to the end of the queue, you have put yourself last again. You can only get what you want if you want it badly enough to go ahead despite the fear, and no amount of inspirational quotes will get you the life you should be having.
My wish for you all is to have a Flourishing New Year. A year alive with possibility not because you wish it so, but because you make it so with the right tools and guidance. A year that pushes you so far out of your comfort zone that you become a remarkable innovator.
Intent on working with future visionary leaders, who may feel like little saplings now, but are reaching for the sun with such determination that they are the future mighty oaks. For a conversation on your vision, email@example.com . We will unpack, draw and direct your plan of action to make your vision reality.
I wish for you to have a lifestyle that makes you happy- in whatever form this might take.
I wish for you to have more faith in your powerful potential and the real impact that you can make on the world.
I wish for you to have good health and the stamina and grace to accomplish that which makes you happy.
I wish for you to feel supported, valued and cared for.
I wish for you to have a greater control over your mind to be the powerful creator that you are.
I wish for you to understand that it is up to you to be the agent of change in your life, and be happy to take back your power.
I wish for you to be in a state of flow for 2016, that you understand how to easily navigate life’s little hiccups.
I wish for passion, adventure, joy and good health to be in abundant supply to you and all you hold dear.
Be Blessed Dear Reader, you have an unlimited fountain of power within you. may you always have the crinkly eye smile that gives you goosebumps because you realise how much you have to be thankful for.
I’m not taking a December break this year. Shocking right? Turns out, it occurred to me that I don’t need to be on holiday when every restaurant and bar is packed, shops are a nightmare to navigate, and parking means circling the lot six times to get a spot. We’ve booked our holiday for February.
Since choosing myself as a priority, my health is great, I’m not exhausted and desperate for a holiday, and I have spent enough quality time with my daughter not to have any (working mother ) guilt. Not all my clients are so fortunate. How do you feel on this last week before Christmas? Do you really really need that drink/holiday/break?
Is your holiday time spent cramming as much activity in to make up for the year’s deficits that you are still busy running errands, dressing up/down networking(parties) drinking and otherwise trying to blend in? Are the kids driving you nuts with their demands for the newest and most advertised Christmas gifts? Would you rather be back at work so that you can have a rest?
My offer to you is this– because I used to be you. I worked too hard with no concrete why and little gratification. I sacrificed myself often and completely, thinking it noble. Nobody noticed. Nobody cared. I burnt out. Hard.
I’m hosting a limited number of no obligation coaching sessions next week and after in Cape Town and over Skype. If you want a better quality of life, call me. make a booking and let’s chat about your context and where you would like the next year to take you. Allow me to share with you how you too can have a life you don’t need to escape from, that is healthy, fulfilling and makes you happy.
I’m serious about getting happiness infused into more top performers. The Science of Successful living made simple is a methodology that is based in neuroscience and biochemistry, and gives phenomenal results mentally emotionally and physically for a 360 recalibration for success and happiness. Contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org – Limited time slots available – BOOK NOW.