Let’s start with the sad truth. Everyone and their uncle is a self styled coach nowadays. The bar for entry is abysmally low, with the bar for actual success so high that for most, this makes coaching with a master coach financially impossible. With a recent article in the Huffington Post making the rounds on social media, a debate on whether coaching is required for success is also finding its way into coffee conversations. There are two parts to this. One , whether coaching is necessary at all in this information age. Two, if it is, how to find the right coach for you. How do you tell the good ones from the dodgy chancers?
Is a coach really required? Can’t I just you tube this stuff or pick my friends brains?
Well yes and no. A few salient points here:
You can youtube information and or watch free webinars. Most ‘Free’ information, including my own promotional material, leaves out the real meat of transformational information. This is primarily to protect the intellectual property of the coach. We want you to smell the fresh baked bread and want some, not eat the loaf gratis. So browsing the net for info is great, and should at the very least set you up to start your self development journey.
Using free ebooks, audios and other giveaways, will also allow you to test your readiness to begin coaching, just keep in mind that one aha moment is not usually enough to sustain you.
Coaches had to prepare all of this info, so yes, they are still required. The field of neuroscience is discovering new information about how to better use our minds every day. Good coaches stay abreast of the latest technology then feed you just enough info to convince you to get coached.
Many of the coaches who have fantastic marketing, from lead magnet material to opt in pages and customer service departments have developed group programmes which are like the primary school of coaching offerings. They’re designed to give you taster information, notch you up a level and prime you for the upsell.
Don’t ask your coaching friends coaching questions and expect free help. No coach is a coach for the love of humanity alone. Like any other person, they have to financially sustain a living wage out of what they love doing, and hour for training hour, these fees can be steep. Rest assured, having paid handsomely for coaching myself, it is money well spent with the right coach. Also a point on mooching, it’s not in the habits of the successful.
How committed are you with those you tube videos anyway? Do you show up for every one? Free content only engages when the the viewer is really in a place of difficulty and psychological discomfort. Commitment is just better when you have to get your money’s worth.
How do you find the right coach for you?
To repeat a point above, shop around. Ask for referrals from others who you suspect have been coached. You know who they are from the results they have and you don’t. Not everyone will admit it though.
Research your coach. Check for publications, audios and video. If they offer a taster session, book one and show up.
During a taster session expect at least one or two aha moments. You should have a feeling of confidence that this person is able to help you to get results. A guarantee of some sort is also a favourable indicator.
Talk about your budget. Good coaches don’t come cheaply, nor do they coach pro bono, so don’t expect free coaching. Discuss how you could afford to get coached if you feel that this process will help you with your situation, challenge or next phase of growth. Many coaches are open to negotiation of terms for the right client.
Talk to your prospective coach about your expectations of coaching. Like any contract, you both have rights and responsibilities.
Avoid coaches who have little or no profile, unless referred by someone who is already achieving goals.
Avoid high profile coaches who farms you off to a junior who is also still being coached.
Don’t buy into the snake oil and hype of marketing and assume that this rahrah and instagram is coaching. Coaching is an intimate and transformative process with a coach who will push you hard to find all your blocks and go past them, in a way best suited to your own context.
So the answer is yes, you have all you need to succeed, and no you don’t necessarily have mental access to all that you need to evict to succeed. Coaches are necessary, but use your discretion. Look for those who walk the talk. Be prepared to pay well for good coaching as free or cheap coaching is rarely enough for lasting change and the wrong type can even set you back.
Success is well within the reach of everyone, but it is not for everyone. Those who want it badly enough, do what is required. Those who don’t… well, have a look at their results. There is room and context for us all.
I hope that this frank look at the coaching industry has helped.
Fire. It has many temperatures, colours, and manifestations all under the same name, FIRE. Likewise motivation comes in many forms;You have free content which inevitably leaves out the real learning and serves to ignite the spark of self development. Then there is the delivery of said content, just like the picture of fire does not warm cold hands, looking at motivational quotes all day is sadly not going to help your cause.
Putting on a sharp suit and instagramming with fifteen hashtags, is not going to help your cause. Attending a hundred mixers and network events, is not going to help your cause.
What will further your chance of success further than anything else is passionate self belief. This is not a pretty spark or instagrammable image. This is made up of years of dedicated self development and the absolute commitment to your huge crazy goal. this is the log that burns long and slow, sustaining the fire. Catch a wake up and catch it fast. The world is in need to rapidly evolving business specialists, who are able to innovate and IMPLEMENT sustainable solutions to impending global crises. Could this be you? If you are still playing small expecting a self help book and free online marketing content to sustain you, catch a wake up.
We get to where we are, by routinely practising the disciplines of excellence. This is a real way of being. A way of walking the talk and living the language of success. While the idea of success varies from person to person, the work and steps to get there remain largely consistent with the same qualities of dedication and effort applied. This fire has to burn inside you and be fed with the right everything to keep going.
Motivational is rapidly becoming a cheap word in the industry, where the thrills are fast and easy. If you want lasting success, with long term legacy building and an effective strategy tailored to you, then the fire under your rear end that a one hour talk sparked will not do. Real commitment creates champions.
The most powerful force we have at our disposal is that of our mind. When you learn to harness the full capability of your powerful mind, there will be no luck or coincidence- just a wonder-filled prosperous way of being. May the force be with you!
I have the privilege of coaching in a variety of different contexts. Once recently in a township based food garden project, my attention was drawn to the amount of broken glass in the soil. On questioning the gardener, as we interrogated his business plan and strategy, it worried me that this one aspect had been overlooked. Observing that the earlier beds were still peppered with dangerous looking shards, and that the more recent beds seemed on the surface smoother, it seemed that the glass was not an immediate priority. I asked him about it, and he showed me cuts on his hands. So the glass had made an impact on his ability to work. Yet the shards remained in the pathways and in the first few beds that had been established. Suggesting that this was a hazard that could create liability costs for him merely brought agreement. The glass remained. I then suggested how to get rid of it and remove it, including the use of protective gear to do so. He brightened and agreed that it sounded feasible that the beds could be made safer.
My internal question was this:
Why was removing the glass not a priority?
Was the gardener so accustomed to hardship and difficulty that the glass was merely one more to endure?
Did the glass become so much a part of the environment that it had not stood out as dangerous even when the gardener cut his hand?
On cutting himself, did the gardener still feel powerless to change his situation through what seemed to an outsider to be logical action?
Why was the gardeners personal discomfort so low on his priority list?
My questions to you:
What is your broken glass?
What hardship have you become numbed and accustomed to?
What difficulty are you stepping over and around rather than removing?
Do you believe that you have the personal power to change your life?
If you are tired of walking on broken glass- contact me to discuss a solution for you.
I style myself as a success coach. I am. Usually. For at least half of my waking hours though, I’m a mom, a daughter, a buddy, a helper, a driver, handyman, researcher, cook, carer…. the list is quite long. Chances are you have a similar list that is not on your cv either. Life eh? So what is your user experience of life like?
My clients hire me because they want to have that ultimate user experience. A success story that can make the cover of Forbes. That luxe lifestyle that is portrayed in magazines and television shows is what they say they want. The reality is often that user experience can only be optimised if the mind is in the right state to understand what optimisation means in the individual context. This can be boiled down to the elements of quality, accessibility and freedom of choice regardless of what their eventual choice may turn out to be.
Creating a quality lifestyle, having access to the resources to do so and the freedom to enjoy it, should be at the top of all of our bucket lists. If we could be as fussy about our quality of life as we are about the quality of our internet speed or car interiors, success is well within reach.
The practice of successful living involves taking charge of the mind, so that you are fully present to current experience and it’s inherent opportunity. It is the actualisation of the idea of living in a well managed body so that you are living with access to a lifestyle that brings you joy through purposeful movement. Successful living means that you are strong enough in self knowledge that you practice freedom as a lifestyle, regardless of what your ideal of freedom is.
User experience models have been applied to websites, apps and restaurants and gadgets of all types. It’s high time we applied the same standards to our actual day to day living. If you do a review of your UX- where are you rated on a scale of 1-10 (with 1 being unsatisfactory and 10 being perfect)?
Is this your real truth?
A Success Coach determined to 10x the UX of natural high performers, so that they can add more precious innovation and leadership to a planet that could use more happy people. Contact her via www.JustOnePercent.co.za to optimise your success lifestyle.
Try harder. Do more! Get that promotion! Achieve that dream! Be amazing all the time. Meh. For what? Why? Is there a point to any of this? Can it make you happy? Will it make you successful living someone else’s cookie cutter life?
Let me tell you a ‘not so secret’, secret. I became a coach in 2005 because all I wanted was to fix myself. I felt broken. I was 25, and had no enthusiasm for life anymore. My life felt meaningless and I couldn’t see what the whole point of slogging was. Knowing that I had to live another 50-60 more years in that aimless flux was so unbearable that it gave me the kick in the pants I needed.
After I took self development seriously – the picture became clearer, and it’s frankly taken years for me to figure out what I wanted to be known as and understand my purpose. First I had to shed everything that made me unhappy. Under all that, I wasn’t broken, just hidden by all the masks I wore to please people around me so that I could feel accepted and approved of. I ditched that too. 🙂
You see, we often live our lives as bolts. Consider the bolt that tries to hold things together, but without a locknut on the end of it, is frankly useless. With tensions, stress and movement, change, the bolt comes loose and everything falls apart. It’s what society expects from us, that we hold things together without all the pieces that are required. Yet without all of the tools to hold all the elements of our lives together, we are living only half of life on a precarious edge of dissolution.
Who are you really? Have you dared to look closely at those things that are falling apart in your life? Have you dared to shed that which makes you unhappy? Have you dared to learn how to use who you are effectively so that you can authentically connect to a purpose that makes you thrill with vibrancy?
Who are you really? What is your truth? If you are living life on your own terms, what are those terms? Living courageously means that you really have to be able to look hard at who you are and do the necessary to calibrate to your most authentic life. Maybe it’s time to ask those questions.